The Incredible Doctor

I do love a good bit of sarcasm me! My personal go to form of wit.  I’ll share with you a true story from just over a year or two ago.

I used to go to a running club every Wednesday evening with one of my housemates, everyone met up at 5 in the gym building and then we’d go out into the smog-laden splendor of Middlesbrough to run, usually we’d go from the University campus to the Riverside stadium and then back via the college.  In the summer we’d go the two miles around the perimeter of Albert Park. 

This one fine evening we had decided to go around Albert Park, the weather was fine, so I decided to wear shorts, which of course would expose my fake leg to the world.  Something which of course ordinarily would not attract attention from sensible people, because they are not simple minded tools.  Not this evening however, not this evening.  As we went past the duck pond, one of the eagle-eyed locals felt the need to turn around and inform me in no uncertain terms, that I was ‘missing a leg’ (I forget the exact words used, but it was something to that effect).  I felt an immediate rush of gratitude to the eagle-eyed doctor who spotted this malady! I had wondered for years why I felt a little light on the right side of my body, was a confusing 21 years of life until the good Doctor diagnosed me.  I no longer had to be confused as to why I went to the limb centre outside the Freeman Hospital anymore, you sure ended years of confusion there!  Finally I knew why I wore that fake leg! Clearly it was just a fashion statement which never seemed to go out of style.  Thank you, you hawk-eyed expert!  

I’ll never know why he felt the need to inform me of my mysterious missing limb, I’m less sure what he even expected to be honest.  That I’d suddenly notice and be unable to run? ‘Oh no, I AM missing a leg, guess I can’t run now, don’t know how I managed it for so long’.   Perhaps he intended it as an insult, but as an insult, pointing out a disability is confused at best.  Perhaps he meant well by it, as in, ‘woah! that guy can run on one leg’.  But still, the way he just pointed out I had one leg would be a confusing way to seem impressed. 

I don’t mean to sound cruel, I’m sure he was probably trying to be nice, but just the way he said it amused me.  I understand when children say stuff like that, cause they don’t know any better.  I even understand when mentally disabled adults do it, but I didn’t think the guy was mentally unwell, he just seemed like a gobby Teesside bloke!  There was something about his tone which I felt deserved my sarcastic cyber tongue-lashing.  

Nowt as Queer as Folk eh? 



5 thoughts on “The Incredible Doctor

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  5. i’m a general pratice and emergency room doctor for almost 25 years ,i worked a long period with family health in a small citty where i was born ( undeveloped and rulled by local politic and farmers) ,also inside an international resort(club mediterrane) to give assistance to host and local workers.,had a good edxperience with emergency rescue (on roads and inside citties)and latelly with public health ,emergency room for a very pour population.
    The interesting fact is wherever you work you may recognize a similar kind of behaviours:
    1-the morbids: they usually are just neighbour or frinds of the vicitm and they try to exagerate the sintoms and when you give a diagnosis they make comments like:” my uncle died of that disease”,or “you look so pale”
    2-the sad tale’s tellers with a afcial expression of the most acute pain: they usually enters the room with a hand on the back and claudicating making lots of ahhh and hummms and as soon they tell their terrible case they say : and by the way ,because of this pain , i couldn’t go to work today so i need a certificate of illness,so the go out 90% better and sure that they should be nominated to best actor oscar because i didn’t let them notice that i’m 100% sure they are liars and weak minded because i came from a poor familly and pain was not a excuse to not finish our tasks.But i’ll let the judgment to God.
    We have our free will so we may choose our actions but would never forecast the real consequences .I do believe that ,someday,all of us will have to pay our debts to the cosmos by the only justice that works God’s trials.
    Recently i’ve noticed that the tv shows that shows violence and suffer its getting more audience in my country.I can’t imagine why someone likes to spends hours and hours in front a tv to know in details the sort of violence that the other used ,insted of reading a good book or making a charity work or playing with kif]ds or gambling.
    At leats the man had the courage of talking to you personally,because the majority would not comment in front of you but i’m sure that inside they are thining about a hundred of jokes or felling so sorry for you.
    i’m sure that you’re happy inside just because you’re alive and enjoying living and you have this awesome atitude of telling to the world how you feel about yourself. Congratulations
    PS:sorry my english,its kind of rusty

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