I do love a good bit of sarcasm me! My personal go to form of wit. I’ll share with you a true story from just over a year or two ago.
I used to go to a running club every Wednesday evening with one of my housemates, everyone met up at 5 in the gym building and then we’d go out into the smog-laden splendor of Middlesbrough to run, usually we’d go from the University campus to the Riverside stadium and then back via the college. In the summer we’d go the two miles around the perimeter of Albert Park.
This one fine evening we had decided to go around Albert Park, the weather was fine, so I decided to wear shorts, which of course would expose my fake leg to the world. Something which of course ordinarily would not attract attention from sensible people, because they are not simple minded tools. Not this evening however, not this evening. As we went past the duck pond, one of the eagle-eyed locals felt the need to turn around and inform me in no uncertain terms, that I was ‘missing a leg’ (I forget the exact words used, but it was something to that effect). I felt an immediate rush of gratitude to the eagle-eyed doctor who spotted this malady! I had wondered for years why I felt a little light on the right side of my body, was a confusing 21 years of life until the good Doctor diagnosed me. I no longer had to be confused as to why I went to the limb centre outside the Freeman Hospital anymore, you sure ended years of confusion there! Finally I knew why I wore that fake leg! Clearly it was just a fashion statement which never seemed to go out of style. Thank you, you hawk-eyed expert!
I’ll never know why he felt the need to inform me of my mysterious missing limb, I’m less sure what he even expected to be honest. That I’d suddenly notice and be unable to run? ‘Oh no, I AM missing a leg, guess I can’t run now, don’t know how I managed it for so long’. Perhaps he intended it as an insult, but as an insult, pointing out a disability is confused at best. Perhaps he meant well by it, as in, ‘woah! that guy can run on one leg’. But still, the way he just pointed out I had one leg would be a confusing way to seem impressed.
I don’t mean to sound cruel, I’m sure he was probably trying to be nice, but just the way he said it amused me. I understand when children say stuff like that, cause they don’t know any better. I even understand when mentally disabled adults do it, but I didn’t think the guy was mentally unwell, he just seemed like a gobby Teesside bloke! There was something about his tone which I felt deserved my sarcastic cyber tongue-lashing.
Nowt as Queer as Folk eh?